Smart aleck

there was tis smart aleck sen tis e-mail 2 his dad fr college:
Dear dad,
i am making lot$ of friend$ n $tudying like nobody'$ bu$ine$$ n i am $imply $o happy $ince i came 2 college.$end mu love n ki$$e$ 2 mum n my cute $i$ter.
Love
Your $on

d dad replied as follows:

dear son
I kNOw tat astroNOmy, ecoNomies,n oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh2 keep an hoNOur's student busy. Do NOt forget d persuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task .
Love
your dad.

Wife's relatives

Both husbands n wifes were driving to d wifes inlaws hse (husband's relatives) they travel quitely coz both of them jz quarrel earlier. While travelling, they met a few monkey on d trees. d husband say sarcasticly "relative of urs?" D wife answered "Yea, in-laws"

I Am Not Working Now

Father: Why don't u get a job?

Son:why?

father: so tat u can earn money..

Son: Why?

FAther: So tat u can put in d bank n earn some intrest?

Son: Why????

Father: so tat when u're old u can use d money in u're account..n u dun have 2 work

Son: im not working now

Pretty Woman

Ah Wah :i want 2 marry you. I luv u now n forever.
Mui MUI: BUt Ah WAh, im nt in luv witf u. find some other prettty women
Ah wah : i dun a pretty woman. i wan u!

pretty or ugly?

Ah Mui : i went on a date wif 2 guy.. d 1st guy say i look pretty...d 2nd say i look i ugly...wad do u think , Ah Gin?
Ah Gin : i think u're pretty ugly... :p

ACNE

Baby monkey

one day a lady holdin her baby was in d bas sitting behind d driver.d driver said"tat is 1 ugly baby"without causing trouble she when at d back of d bas...d passenger next 2 her asked her"y r u so angru, lady?" "the driver said my baby is ugly"said d lady...." wad ??!!u noe wad u should do:? u should ask 4 his name n ID n send a complain letter...better yet go there n scold him.... comme let me help u carry ur mongkey..."

Johor casket...gud anot?

there's a guy...mild n patient..his wife likes 2 boss him around...thn 1 day the guy was fed up..n went 2 a shrink. she gave him a book d book is written"self esteem"..he read it n went home..slaming his hand on d table n told his wife..."you r goin 2 make me a hot meal n get ready my bath n guess who is goin 2 dress me up?" the thn replied" johor casket"...

i dun wan 2 go 2 school

early in d morning, like any other kids r still sleeping... but as ever mother~they wak their kids....
mom: son, faster wake up is time 2 go 2 school
son:(groan) i dun wanna go 2 school :(
mom:gimme 2 reason why...
son:1. the teachers dun like me...2. the students dun like me
mom: not good ebough ><
son: thn u give me 2 reason why i should go to school....
mom: 1. u're 50 yrs old!!! 2. U're d principle!!!!